Sh*t my counterpart says

On technology
“I need a radio like yours. I need your radio. When you go back to visit America, tell your father you lost your radio and need a new one. Then this one will be for Sebastian.”

On white hair
Sebastian: “Zambians believe that white hair has magical properties. If you go to the barber here, he might save the hair clippings and use them for witchcraft.”
Me: “…My hair’s the same color as yours.”
Sebastian: “You are a white person. You have white hair.”

On pithy old Bemba aphorisms
Sebastian, struggling to choose the right words: “The tail of the goat sweeps the place where it ends.”
Me: “I think something might have gotten lost in translation.”

On alternative pest management
“Do you know why goats run away when you say, ‘Tea’? There was once a man who made a cup of hot tea. When a goat came over and tried to drink the tea, it burnt its tongue and ran away. So now once you tell them ‘Tea!’ the goats will be scared and start running.”

The man is serious about his goats.

On small business expansion
Sebastian: “So these farmers have a very nice place. This is why I am telling them that I will come and marry their sister so that I can make fish ponds here.”
Me, with a straight face: “A third wife?”
Sebastian, not skipping a beat: “A third wife!”

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4 thoughts on “Sh*t my counterpart says

  1. :^) I heard the same thing (On technology) in PNG. That’s why I came home empty handed.
    I searched for your goat proverb but only came up with this one:
    Don’t approach a goat from the front, a horse from the back, or a fool from any side.
    Yiddish Proverb

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